we have officially lost it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize