Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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