I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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