I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
