So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
