fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
