so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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