woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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