As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
