Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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