I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have aggressive nipples.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
