if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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