you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize