Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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