I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
