thus making me awesome and them whores
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
