i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
