He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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