he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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