A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Shame - the story of my life.
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