Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
