Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize