i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
