I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
