Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
