i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
