i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
