the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
birth control should be required to get into college
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
