We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
