if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
