so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
two words...techno handjob
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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