May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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