so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dear god my vagina.
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