my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
