You're my little dorito
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
