Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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