Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
