theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My vagina is officially offended.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
