She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
