drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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