no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
