I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
