Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
