I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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