That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
