I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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