can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
