your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You were trust falling into bushes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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