Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
