Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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