Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
