Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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