he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
