woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is Oprah even human
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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