Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
