So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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