Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize