Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
