One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
